One look in her eyes could tell you all you needed to know. Her fire was bright, her attitude strong, her will stronger. She gave everything her all, and never looked back. Never thought twice. Never wavered. She was going from the minute she woke up until the minute she went to sleep. Always going strong. So strong. And sometimes, it was too much.
Her and I? We butted heads. We both had the need to be right, her in all her four year old glory would often times out smart and out win me. Often I wished for a small sample of the confidence she carried. She was small, but was never held back on her own accord. It was always by the thoughts of others that she was held back – and that, among many other things, made her mad.
She wanted to be free. She wanted to run. She needed to do things. She needed to constantly be moving and going and questioning. And sometimes, all I wanted was for her to sit still and stop moving.
I don’t have to wonder too hard what she would be like today – I know without a doubt that she would have grown into her spitfire and attitude and would be ruling the world around her while she danced and spun. She wouldn’t worry about the way people looked at her, and the way they talked. She wouldn’t be bothered by those who didn’t like her, and instead would focus on those who made her world bright. And most likely, she would be excelling in school – because she loved to learn.
We would still butt heads. I would still wish she would sit still, if even for just a minute. She would still be outsmarting and outwitting everyone. But her love of life, and general outpouring of zest would not be gone. Its who she was. Its what she was. Its how she lived life. Its still what I wish I had.
Five years later, I flip through her favorite songs, cringe at the twangs that made her squeal with delight, and try and remember what she passed on during her short years here. To never stop moving. To keep on going. To not get bothered with those who look down on you. To dance, even when it rains. Especially when it rains. To see past the gloom and doom and realize there is happiness everywhere. To live life passionately, and to its utmost fullest.
To never give up. To love without fear. To live without rejection. To laugh with everything inside. To never take no for an answer – especially when you KNOW you can do something. And when life gets to much, open those bottles of stored up passion and let loose.