Yesterday was one of those difficult days. For no apparent reason I was just frustrated with everyone and everything. In a moment of frustration I mentally wrote out a list of everything and everyone I was just TIRED of, just about everything and everyone made the list and just as I finished the grocery store clerk asked how I was. I contemplated taking a swing at her – which is when it hit me just how unreasonable I was being.
I was frustrated, yes. Because I didn’t have time to think about the things I wanted to think about. I was tired. Fed up. And just done. Yet the very things I wanted to think about? Were the very things I had JUST thought about – the things that had made my list. Between that, wanting to take down the nearest grocery clerk, and a few reminders across the internet world that life can change in an instant – I gave myself permission to take today off.
Take it off and just be.
Life is frustrating, its hard, its stupid, and it doesn’t always make sense. There are a lot of days where I really do NOT want to being doing THIS. I don’t want to be living this life, and I don’t want to be this person for these people…and I don’t want to do one more load of laundry, or dishes. I don’t want to cook one more meal. I don’t want to smile and be nice. Sometimes I just want to tackle the next person who asks how I am with that fake smile plastered all over their face. And maybe one day I will.
I took the boys down town. I decided not to stress about the people, and the noise. I figured that they were going to be loud and talk, and want to eat too much candy – and I figured that would just be ok.
Because there was a time, not too long ago, when the midgets were just a bit smaller. A time I thought would never pass. A life I thought we would never outgrow. A life I didn’t want to live either. And yet somehow – that life, seems so far away. So distant. Midgets grow up, and life takes over. And pretty soon its not longer considered “Cool” to hang out at the parade with your uncle and cousin, and its just “Right.”
You never know how fast life will change, its changing fast enough to not stop and take notice. Its going too fast to simply not stop and enjoy a slice of life, right now. Before another ten years goes by.