What happens if everything you once thought you knew – is wrong? More specifically – what happens if this earth you thought was home, and these people you called family, and the sky you called blue – is NOT. What if the earth is made up, and these people are imaginary, and the sky is actually a very weird shade of red that you perceive as being blue because THAT’S what you want to see. What if?
“What stops me from walking up to (insert well known persons name here) and throwing a glass of water in their face?” The answer? Nothing. Not one thing.
I have reached the very familiar, yet very frightening spot where I do not care. More specifically, I cant MAKE myself care. Even more specifically I have reached the place where I don’t want to care, or I do, I just cant make myself. Or I don’t. I don’t really know. Ive reached the place where my actions simply do not have results, and I cant STOP myself from doing anything because I simply do not care. A place where I wouldn’t mind wandering out into the streets. Because really, what DOES it matter when EVERYTHING you thought was real – isn’t.
When you make something up because you cant deal with reality, but apparently you didn’t make it up, because it IS reality.
My mind is a very scary place right now, and I cant seem to come to grips with anything except for the fact that I am coming unglued. And fast. I am tried of trying, tired of everything. Just simply tired of trying with no results, and everything I have worked for – is coming undone. I cant do this for another 50 years. More specifically – I don’t WANT to do this another 50 years. Yet these imaginary beings in this imaginary earth, are making me.
I don’t know whats real and what isn’t anymore. I am officially unglued, and completely insane.