Facing it

Earlier today someone mentioned something that for one reason or another, stuck in my head. His words? “Oh I cant wait to die.” Then he turned and looked at me, and laughed. “You wouldn’t know what I am talking about. But when you get my age, you will understand.” I smiled. You have no idea old man, you have NO idea.

Lately I have been pondering the point of life. What am I saying, I have always wondered it, but lately the thought has come back full force, and no one can satisfy my wanting to know. Everything I do, I am wondering why. I don’t ask why, because no one has the answers. Well they do, but they all expect me to stop asking and start listening.

Money? Diets? Working? What good does it do? I heard someone say once that no one lays on their death bed saying “I wish I hadn’t eaten that cake.” Or fill in the blank with something you wondered if you should or shouldn’t do. Maybe it would be “I wish I hadn’t traveled there. Or loved her.” The point is, the only things people regret are the things they DIDN’T do.

I got to thinking about my past 32 years of life. The things I have seen, done and experienced – I feel as though I should be pushing somewhere in my 90s. I have been married, had a child, and buried them both. I have said good bye more than two times. I have been healthy, and sick. I have traveled here, and traveled there. I have stayed put. Stayed up late, and gone to bed early. And really? None of it has made a difference.

My wife always wanted to travel. She spent her entire life being told “No” that there wasn’t enough money. That she needed to work for it, and maybe one day when she was “Older” she could travel the world. And you know what? Her hard work and lack of travel did not keep her from dying, early, I might add. Me traveling, has not shortened my life any.

Today as I stood at the sink, pondering yet another dinner, and another evening, and another pointless day behind us, It hit me. The point of life. There IS NO POINT. There is none! I have spent my entire life searching for something that doesn’t exist. Running from something that isn’t there. Running to something that isn’t there. There is no point in anything. It just is.

A good friend of mine once said, and maybe he stole it from a movie, “You are born. You live a little. Then you die.” And how much truer could those words be?

We are all in this together. We are all living. We are all dying. We are all here, without a point, looking high and low for something that simply doesn’t exist.

And you know what? It is what it is.

There is no point, and today, I am going to start living. If I could I would cash in all the money I had and just run. Until I ran out of money. And then I would start over again. Because no matter how hard we try, none of us can escape it. We can diet and exercise and eat right, and sleep well. We can be old or young, and we still will die.

So why not live? Why not throw your hands in the air with me and run. Run through the rain. Laugh harder, and love deeply. Why not cancel that appointment and spend the day doing something completely off the wall. Why not join me in my quest to live this damn life to the fullest, boldest, highest potential you can, and then some.

I know a lot of people wont agree with me, and that’s ok. I am done living uptight from day to day. I am going to live freely, from second to second and not let anything pass me up.


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