Today was just one of those days that sort of…smacks you in the face. In the rudest of ways. The kind of things that make you wonder. And question. And run everything you thought you knew…through a strainer. And while its been on my mind all day – I just now, am really thinking about the impact of it all. And really, am unsure how to approach the subject.
Internet life, is one of those things that – people assume is safe. Safe for you. Safe for me. But really, that couldn’t be further from the truth – the internet world…is closer to me than my own family. People out there I know better than I know my neighbors. Because of this sense of false security. I have hidden behind it, feeling free to express myself for a while now. Opening up, talking, making friends, and coming alive again. All unintentionally. Its connected. And most times, this is ok. As long as you make the right choices, stay away from things that could harm you – like in “Real Life.” But the thing is – it IS real life.
And it just got a whole lot smaller. This world. This life. This internet. Blasted internet anyways.
This morning over coffee, waiting the last few minutes before I had to rush off to work, I brought up my reader and checked a few places I frequent. To find out. That someone. That the internet worlds know. Has went into hospice.
Seeing the name. Seeing the words. Seeing the blog linked up.
And I really have no words.
Because it just sucks. This whole thing.
And it brings out the best in me. It makes me want to use my outside voice, and my inside words. It makes me want to flip the world the finger. It makes me want to strangle people who hate each other, and really? It makes me want to take a shot gun to the word cancer. Because it all sucks. So much.
This whole world, this perceived notion of things being safe on the internet. Everything has gotten smaller today. Smaller because of this. This thing that I just cant explain. Because as hard as I try, I cant understand something like this. Its not mine to understand.