Too young to be grown up

Were on the cusp of teenager-hood. Is that even a word? With one almost a full six months into the age that will never return, and another following shortly behind…I find myself rethinking a majority of what I say, and what I hear.  I bite my tongue more often than I care to admit. Someone once said that in order to raise a kid “Right” you have to put yourself back in their shoes. I don’t know how true it is, but I find myself trying to remember what it was like, to be a kid, of their age. And lately I have been telling myself to grow up. Because I find myself treating them more like 8 year olds, when infact Im staring into the face of a angry 13 year old.

Weve traded dinner and a story for slamming doors and back talk. Given up listening for yelling. Weve reached the age where no one knows anything, because we know it all. Questions need more than a “Because, that’s why” and require more of an indepth answer complete with a ten point outline, back up, and proof – and even then, its iffy as to if it will even be taken into consideration. And if we havent reached there yet, we are progressing quickly forwards.

Oh don’t get me wrong, I remember those days, I remember them all too well.

I look at them, and still see 8 years old written across their faces. Toothy smiles, and messy hair. When in reality, they are growing up. They are getting older. They are needing more, even if they wont admit to not having all the answers and needing anything of the sorts.

Believe me, I know. I remember.

The younger brother is becoming more and more of a bother, and less of a brother. Hes getting in the way, pestering too much and causing too many problems. Life would be so much easier…without brothers.

But on the flip side, the older sister is just too bossy. She doesn’t know anything, she isn’t but two years older. What good is that? If she knows so much then she should just move somewhere else…with less SMART people…a line that always backfires and makes me cringe when I hear it.  It is always followed up by “I LIVE THERE ALREADY” And a door slam is soon to follow.

And thus the great scuffle begins.

There isn’t any “He touched me, she looked at me” arguments. They are changing too. They are becoming bigger, and the problems are becoming more real. “He said this. She meant that.” Words. That will be regretted, sooner or later. The map of life is unfolding before their eyes, and they are squabbling along. They are getting older, but they are still young. They know, but they don’t realize. The see, but they don’t understand. Their minds are still trying to grasp the newness of the world around them.

Such is life.

One day they will know. They will look back and see. But for now, I will walk the line between holding back and letting them discover, and think for just a little bit longer that they do really know it all…and telling them myself…to not only save on some sanity but to save them down the road. Not that they will listen, because we all know – they already know.

And maybe…just maybe…they do.


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