Just wondering

Im upset tonight, is that aloud? Because if its not, then I don’t know what Id do. Because Im not really happy right now.

Sometimes I think I have it all figured out, and then I realize I don’t, how many times have I said that. Enough already I think. I should KNOW by now that I don’t have ANYTHING figured out…and should stop trying.

This week, Madison has been planning something with one of her friends. After talking it over with her friends mom, and making sure it was ok (because against popular belief I don’t just drop and run) they went full fledge with planning. Planning what was going to be the “Biggest sleep over in history” or you know, something like that? Its all I have heard about this week, Madison was going to spend the weekend (and the next two nights) at her friends house. It was from what I have been told going to be “AWESOME!” and “SO COOL!” and “EXCITING!” because whats better than two girls spending the weekend together? Apparently not much.

As tonight rolled around, I made Madi finish some things before loading the kids up and heading off for her friends house.

When we arrived, no one was home. Weve been there before. It seems every time Madi and this friend make plans, something goes wrong. They arent home, they are suddenly busy, they cant do that, it wont work. Whatever. So we went to the store, and then stopped back by there. Just about the same time as a van was pulling out, and a mess of kids ran screaming for the house.

Her friends mom stepped out, and started off…

“She can stay, but Im not going to be here long”

And

“You know maybe you should think about hosting these things at your house sometime, ever think other people might want a break”

Were a few of the sentences thrown around.

First off, I wasn’t just RANDOMLY showing up and dropping her off. This had been planned, and she DID say it was ok. Come to think of it, I wasn’t laying in bed last night thinking up if random peoples weekends to ruin, and land on her. It had been thought up of, and schemed about all week long, and not by me.

Secondly, I don’t “Host” sleepovers here. Not for any of the kids friends, for numerous reasons. But it is NOT going on my record that I host “All girl sleepovers” here. Not going to happen. Sure, it has its pros and cons, but in the end its better to not have that going down in history with me.

Third, well, there are other ways of going about things. I think.

I asked Madi if she wanted to stay, and she already was back in her seat belt before I asked. She shook her head, clearly upset about the whole ordeal, but trying to keep it together.

Which is when her friends mom changed her tune.

“Its not that I don’t want her…we just have…other kids…here tonight”

And a few other things were mentioned. Things about needing to keep up with what my kids are doing, and making sure they arent spending all that time at other peoples houses, and how that could be avoided if I would just “Give other people a break sometimes”

…and so yes. Im upset.

And I don’t know if I even should be. Am I really pushing them off on other people? Is it too much to expect that a planned sleepover should go as planned? Am I expected to return these favors and open our doors to a bunch of 12 year old girls? Am I wrong in thinking that it just doesn’t SOUND right to do this?

I don’t know, I really don’t. I guess it will require some more thinking…

But for now, Im off to think of who else’s weekend I can ruin with my random spur of the moment choices, like shoving these devils of children off on some unsuspecting by-standard while I go out and get wasted Im off to bed, I have to work early.

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One comment

  1. No, you probably don’t push your kids off on other people.

    Girl’s (and their mother’s) can be so mean!
    Madison is at an age where friends are the center of her universe. She is probably also wanting friends despirately because having friends means she is the same – she belongs. Unfortunately some girls use friendships to feel in control and that usually leaves a few “friends” left out and with hurt feelings.

    I have witnessed girls moms lying for them to cover up a planned situation that will end up hurting some girls feelings. My guess is that yes, this “friend” let Madison be a part of the planning for this sleep over but maybe one of the invited guests created an issue over Madison was there. Who knows the reason. With girls it can be things like “she sat next to Missy instead of me at lunch” or ” Bambi told me that Madison likes Alex and I liked him first” or maybe some mean kids just picked Madison to be mean to that day. Some girls love drama, especially if it keeps them the center of attention.

    You wouldn’t think girls who meet each other for the first time at summer camp could create drama in their 7 day stay but believe me, by day 1 at least one girl in every cabin feelings are hurt. By day 2 the “best friends” are formed and at least one girl in every cabin is being left out. By day 3 the staff have figured out who the ring leader is and they gain controlby making sure the ring leader is neutralized and everyone knows that they work and play as equal members of the cabin. By day 4 the mean girls go underground – they pretend to be nice by working and playing together but they have their secret friends and they talk about the other girls behind their backs. Day 5 is usually uneventful because the mean girls no longer get attention and by day 6 everyone is just sad because on day 7 they all go home. Thank gawd!

    My advice – don’t try to figure it out – you won’t be able to for 2 big reasons – 1. nobody can figure out girls at this age and 2. you are a guy. Take Madison out for some you and her time and make sure you discuss the incident. Ask her how it made her feel and if she thinks you handled things right. Let her know that you are sorry she got her feelings hurt and give her a hug.

    Good luck
    Kathy

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