One day deep

It all seems to be a bit much this year, for Josh. Yesterday wasn’t one of his “Best” days, and he spent a majority of his afternoon making noises and holding Simon, while looking for a corner, that was hidden with the tree that is soon to come down. Having not slept all that great last night, he was especially crabby this morning and had a complete melt down on the neighbors door step when I left him.

When I picked him up, things had apparently not gone any better. He was clearly tired, she said she tried to get him to nap – but he would have none of it. Good luck getting him to sleep anywhere other than his bed, with his blankets, and HIS things, especially if it is not HIS idea. She said he spent a majority of his time alternating between crying, and sitting on the ground screaming. Which sounded pretty typical.

I get it – his routine has been thrown off, big time. No school, no teachers, no bus. No morning hustle, no coming home to see the kids, no Madison or Dylan – period. A new baby sitter. A new routine. Plus there is the added bonus that it is snowing, and everyone is trying to bring him presents, to get him “Into the spirit” and he just isn’t buying any of it.

When we got home today, he walked all around – before melting down in the middle of the floor at the injustice of it all. I know what is causing the random bit of crankiness, but it still is frustrating. Because I want to help him, and I know I cant. I know that in a few days, he will be ok. He will adjust, and we will go through it all again when the kids come back, and the routine changes, yet again. But these few days arent going to be easy with him.

I can put up with a certain amount of whining, crying, screaming, and flat out refusal – especially since I know whats causing it, but what that certain amount is gone, its gone…and there is no bringing it back.

I feel bad for him, I know hes struggling, I know hes confused and frustrated, and I don’t like watching him this way. I don’t like watching him run around like a lost puppy…but at this point, there isn’t really anything I can do – which perhaps just makes it all the more difficult.

I know its Christmas, I know its “The season” (even though I still havent figured that one out) but it just doesn’t seem like it is…infact, I think I might almost be ready for Thanksgiving, but then again…maybe its just me.


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