It could all be summed up in a few words.
My life: and the inability to move on from the past.
I lay here tonight, thinking of all the reasons why I need to keep it in & to myself. I see the road. The road that says “This isn’t that bad” “Just one more will be fine.” I see it slipping away. Because while most times I am able, able to keep it together, sometimes it comes out on its own – unexpectedly it rushes to be freed.
I have taken to writing on paper again. Something about watching the words form from a pen in my hand that flies smoothly across the paper – maybe it’s the control. The knowing that I AM in control of this oh-so-small portion of things. Things are changing. Too fast. I need time, yet have none. Need answers, yet have none.
Im where I wanted to be – why am I not happy?