The “Grocery Store”

{I wrote this a few days ago, but for whatever reason, never posted it}

Today, we made another (failed) attempt at the grocery store. I think that makes for…three failed attempts at the same store, in one week. Im thinking maybe we shouldnt go. Honestly, I wouldnt be surprised if we got banned from the store. Three different trips to the store, two almost completed, but failed as well. Maybe, I should get a personal shopper, any takers?

This afternoon, the kids and I were at the store (Im not so sure we ever complete a full shopping trip, just incase you wondered) when Dylan suddenly had to use the bathroom. Like REALLYBAD. Why suddenly? Im not sure, but Im not one to question these things, they are important and if they are not dealt with immediately, Id hate to think what might happen…Im pretty sure I would get banned from the store, though, so I told him to go. Run fast, and dont make a mess. Wed wait in that isle, or fairly close, and meet him. About 3 minutes later, he returned. Slightly panicked. He still, hadnt went to the bathroom. There were some people back there, who he didnt like, and wanted me to go with him. I looked at Madi, she was out of the picture, he was a boy, and she couldnt accompany him IN the mens room. I looked at Josh, and knew full well that if I left him, wed be banned from the store thanks to a epic episode because I left, then I looked back at Dylan who was hopping back and forth on his feet, and processed all this information in less than 3 seconds, and told him “Ok, lets go” and hauled ALL three kids back to the rear of the store.

I followed him in, Josh in tow and and left Madi outside, where she was happy to wait. I silently hoped that Josh wouldnt freak out once he realized we were in a bathroom, but leaving him outside with Madi was an option I wasnt willing to take. Dylan went into a stall and we hung out waiting for him to finish his business. A few people came in and out, but Dylan…was still in there. I waited until the room was mostly empty, and quietly asked if he was, you know…still in there? Nothing. I asked a little louder. Nothing. I quickly ran down the list of “Reasons to panic” and realized that there was no logical way he could be gone. 1) we had been standing RIGHT outside the stall the entire time and 2) The only entrance was right there. But somehow he had somehow disappeared. I called his name a little louder just to be sure, and there was still no response.

Josh was starting to get antsy because I was holding him, and he wanted down, but I couldnt risk “Loosing” him too. I opened the door, and called Madi in. She looked at me like I had two heads. A few seconds later, and she hurried in. She glared and hissed “What!” I explained I couldnt find Dylan, and needed her to watch Josh while I looked for him. Now, I thought the room was empty, except for “Dylan” who was apparently not there either. The bathrooms here and fairly small…there are only like four or five stalls, so it really shouldnt have been to hard to find him, but he was gone. The door to his stall that he WAS in, was locked, so I looked under, and he wasnt there. Ok. So I admit, I started to panic then, I mean…what happened? Had he literally flushed himself down? I looked at Madi for reassurance…she looked disgusted. “Try the other ones” she wasnt impressed, and Josh was starting to get really upset. The doors were locked to the rest of them, but there wasnt anyone in them. The last one I looked under I found a pair of shoes that did NOT belong to Dylan.

Standing up, I wondered what kind of stories would go around. Finally I worked up enough guts to find out what was in the last stall. I knocked. Dylan calmly replied that “Im in here”. Shocked, I forgot that we werent the only ones in there and blurted out “What are you doing in THERE?” I mean, how did he get all the way to that side of the room, without me noticing. But before he had a chance to answer, the “Feet that didnt belong to Dylan” yelled out “Hes probly using the John…mind you own business, why dont you?” I think he added a few other words too. Dylan popped out, giggling to himself. I wasnt sure wither to be mad, or relieved, so I motioned for him to wash his hands, and we waltzed out….

Dylan walked off like there was nothing unusual at all about him disappearing from one stall, and ending up at the other end, Josh fought back a melt down, and Madison terrified that her friends would see her, hid behind me until we were out far enough to where she could bolt. Just in case. We walked out the bathroom, down the isle, and out the door, it wasnt until we were 1/2 way to the car did I ask Dylan how he had pulled that off, and why. He sounded as if I should know how, and it was obvious why “I didnt like the stall I was in, so I just went under the dividers until I got to the one I wanted” as if, it was an every day occurrence. Something he has done, more than once.

It wasnt until we were driving out of the parking lot that it hit me “We forgot the groceries!”

Its amazing, how many times we go in and out of a store in a week, and never quite accomplish what it is we went in for…

Three failed attempts. I think I will let it rest, until next week. Then, maybe I will hire a personal shopper, or go shopping at 2am.

{As a side note, Im thinking to move, and no not to another house, I mean, move…as in move online. But I was hoping to get feed back, is this place, worth moving to, or should I keep working with it?}

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