Good bye, dear ol’ sanity

You know somedays you wake with a thundering thought, only….its a bit to late, because you could have used the though the day BEFORE?  Of course, I dont ever wake up with thundering thoughts of profoundness, except today, I realized what a mistake I had made…a day too late…Im not trying to imply that usually I wake with knowledge…Im pretty sure Im pretty far off the mark, just saying the thought came a little to late for me.  Because for whatever reason, I woke up with a streak of stupidity yesterday…because after work, for WHATEVER reason, the kids and I hit up the town….oh….please dont do this to me again.

Every year, the first weekend in August, the town throws together a “Local artist party” which basically consist of tons of booths (sort of like the 4th of July) where local artist try and sell their “Art”.  Its a big hit in town, filled with slug races, pie eating contests and live “music” and also pretty much the entire towns population is there, and usually theres about 3 cruise ships in town. Get the idea? Ok. Moving on.

I should have known when it took like….twenty trips around town to find a parking spot…and when we did finally find one? It was a good days journey to get TO town. Either way…there we were, hiking it up…trying not to panic around the hundreds of people that flooded around. After we made our way through the crowds, me in all my GREAT wisdom decided “Oh hey…its Saturday afternoon, most of the town is HERE, why not head to Walmart?” Oh sanity…why did you leave me? Instead of driving, and thus, forfeiting our parking spot, we opt to ride the bus…considering it was also $1 bus day. Dumb. Dumb. Dumb. I cant say it enough.

We stood there, baking in the heat, because of all days it was suddenly HOT, even though the sun was scarce… But there we were, the two kids, and I.  Bus waiting.   Here? There are maybe….two buses. One goes that way, while the other goes the other way. Not bad, really…but when we stepped on that bus and it was LOADED, meaning not only was every seat filled? But just about every standing place was as well. I should have turned around there, but the kids were excited, and I had already stuck our dollar in…and there was no turning now because well we were now being shoved in by the rest of the poor folk trying to shove their way on. Anyone ever ride a crowded, or rather, overcrowded bus on a hot day? Anyone ever SMELL that? Anyone want to? Again, not smart.

We made our way, finally, out to Walmart, us and 1/2 the towns population on that tiny little bus. Only to discover that hey, lookie here! The rest of the town! I dont know if Ive mentioned it before or not, but I have a tendency to panic around lots of people. Its not as bad as it used to be, I used to avoid people like the plaque. There was a few times that Ive abandon ship in the middle of the store because there were to many people…but Ive come a distance, I like to think, atleast. It was a step, a very LARGE step (forward?  Im not so sure) for me to go down town with THAT many people and load a bus with even MORE people to go to a store with even MORE people…although its not like I really had a choice, considering we had an hour until the next bus came.

Plus…Ive been informed that school starts sometime this year? Anyone want to know how long it takes me to shop for kids and school stuff, even if they are right there with a list? Yea, me neither. Madison was all excited about school shopping and I couldnt burst her bubble, although when we stood there, facing the doors watching as people shoved their way in and out, I think my mouth might have gaped some, because she slipped her hand in mine and whispered something about it being ok. I wish she would have been right, but that would teach me to believe an overly excited 11 year old, because in we went.

We managed, somehow, Im not quite sure how, to push our way back to the school supply area, where she engrossed herself with the brightly colored, and overly priced, I might add also, items, asking me what she should get. I told her to get what she thought she needed, and Dylan too, because we wouldnt be coming back. I was to busy looking like a paranoid bug, watching for that one person to run us over, you might say that I lost track of time somewhere around there…and by the time we managed to push our way to the front of the store, and find a line that didnt reach OUTSIDE, and after we got checked out, good bye $100, and made our way OUT the doors, where I could have kissed the ground, did I realize…the bus? Yea. Was pulling out. I temporarily considered running after it, and begging for it to stop, but I had lost Dylan in the crowd and didnt think it would be wise to leave him behind.

Instead, there we sat.  Tiny bench, ok?  One, tiny bench, that when we got there?  Was empty.  Considering the bus had JUST left.  There we sat, me slowly regaining consciousness after being shoved in every imaginably place, and then some, because I guess the crowd was in a BIG hurry and when you swim against the current…that tends to happen.  The kids, however, were still excited about the whole ordeal, and paid little attention.   It wasnt but 20 minutes later that the bus heading in the opposite direction of town, stopped by.  I didnt care what way it was heading, had I known?  I might have waited…but we loaded, and got a grand tour of the north end of town before heading back and picking the rest of the Walmart group up and began the descent homeward.

Oh sweet sanity, if only I could have you again. But I do believe you are gone for good. I do believe youve left me, and I do wonder why…we were good friends, were we not?

I guess, we did get some time to be together, the kids and I, not sanity. I guess maybe I did get a chance to work on my “Fear of people” But I can say this…It will be a very, VERY long time before I go out on a Saturday afternoon, via bus, to Walmart….and as far as “School shoppings” considered?  I think I might hire someone to go for us, either that, or we will be found in the wee hours of the morning…when there are no people to be found…or at very least?  Not on the busiest day of the year, that is, next to Black Friday (I think its called?) When the entire world gathers for shopping?  Yea.  Next time I think I might question myself…some.


One comment

  1. Sounds like a very crazy day. It reminds me a lot of days my mother, twin brother and I would have. I would have definitely had second thoughts about going into such crowds too. And I’ve got a weird feeling about taking the city buses where I am at. They’ve gotten shot at before as well as robbed…so yeah, that’s always a slight worry to me…lol.

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