Tunnel Vision

A friend is that person, who, while your preoccupied with other thoughts, slips in uncharted, and unannounced.  They slip in, and expect nothing in return.

They are someone that while you are thousands of miles apart, you know that they would be there in a heart beat. Someone who you know is always there, no matter what time, what year, or what reason. Someone who knows something is wrong before you even realize it.

A friend, a real true friend, is someone that is hard to come by.

They are that person who sits off to the side, silently waiting for you to return from that “Moment” where you honestly needed to be alone, but also the first person that shows up when you say you want to be alone…but really don’t. A friend is someone you know you can count on, and trust. They are that person that knows the most about you, that understands the complicated, confusing, and shares every moment of your life as if they were a part of it.

They are that person who laughs at your mistakes, and tells you the blunt honest truth, not caring if you wanted to hear it or not.  Knowing you need to hear it.  They are the person who knows when to back off, and when to be there. The person who knows when to laugh, and when to be silent.

They are that steady force standing behind you when times get rough, and that voice ahead that calls through the dark. They are there. No matter what. Rain or shine. To kick you out of the depressing areas of life. To tell you that you screwed up, but that its ok. They know what to say and when.

A friend is someone who takes what you say and somehow knows what you mean.  They clean your mind out, and throw away those “Good thoughts”. They are the person that makes you realize you don’t know what you thought you knew, but that its ok, because they already know. They know who you really are, not who you want to be. They know you at your worst moments, and yet they simply do not care.

They have been down the dark dirty roads with you, and still come back for more. They are the ones who you push aside, as you try to make sense of the world around you. A friend is that person you push out of your life, because you don’t need another person. They are that person who you treat horribly, and yet are still there when it matters most.

The person who can make you laugh, and smile even though the world seems to be crashing in around you.  They are there to tell you “That idea sucks” and “Think again”.

They dont give up, even when you have. 

Ive been lucky to find just such a friend.

A friend who I have treated like crap, shoved to the side, and tried to forget all about. A person who Ive never met, has somehow slipped in undetected, and despite pushing her aside, countless times…shes always found her way back, and managed to be there, when it matters most.

I swore that I would never love again, never make friends, never open myself up to ANYONE about ANYTHING and while Ive stuck true to my word…she somehow slipped in and made herself at home in my mind, taking up residence in the empty spaces reserved for people I care about, and when I became conscious of what was going on….it was too late…and all I could do was freak out, and attempt to once again, shove her away.

This afternoon, I got a box in the mail from her. She told me she was mailing something, and this afternoon, it arrived. I picked it up, hauled it home and tossed it to the side while I got Josh inside…a short time later, I opened it up and remained speechless, and can only be glad I wasnt at work when I opened it:

(Click to read)

I just wish there was someway to repay her for everything shes done. Not just this, but for being a friend. A friend that I really, don’t deserve.