Its been a bunch of small, sort of random things, that I think finally, put things over the edge just enough. It wasnt just…one thing, and it wasnt a lot of things that just happened all at once…it was more just like…a bunch of randomness coming together, way to fast…that sort of…tipped me over the edge…with everyone else following close behind.
Everything just seemed so…major I guess would be the word Im looking for, major and pointless. Difficult, and with no reason. Everything was happening, for no reason, and while most days it would have just been another thing, another day…yesterday it was the end of it all…but…here we are again, sucking it up, and pushing on.
There are certain things that if I could, I would go back, and relive…certain moments in life that stand out more than others, and certain things that I would go back, and spend my time…enjoying more of…While there are lots of things I would go back, and change…there are also, other things I would go back..and relive…just to enjoy them more…the things that took up to much time, the things that were…pointless at the time, and the things that were…well…”Wastes of times” the things that now, I would go back, and relive…just to enjoy it…once more.
These, (among many others) are a few:
The simple things — Like having everyone together, at once — for once.
The mess’ (and smiles)
The love
I wish I could have taken these things more serious, wish I could take them serious now, wish that somehow…I could teach the kids to enjoy the small things….maybe someday it will come together, and make sense….maybe someday….everything will finally…be in its right place. Maybe someday, I will learn not to sweat the small stuff, and to take time to enjoy things like this…maybe one day, and hopefully, before its to late…again.
Maybe next week Ill have “something worth saying” but I wouldnt count on it.
1 Comment so far
Leave a comment
<a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <pre> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>
OH DAVE! Worth saying! My good man, you have said a gazillion things that are worth saying.
From the first time I found your blog I have been drawn to you for just one reason, well maybe two. The first was that it appeared to me that you needed someone willing to help you and two, you needed someone to accept you just the way you are.
You have said that lots of people are ready to judge you and/or give you adivce. I have no idea what their motives are for doing so, but for me, I care. I also have some time, I have some knowledge and I care about kids and families. I am also a mom with a knack for mothering. I felt you needed a mom. You know how mom’s (well some mom’s) nurture, and love unconditionally. We give advice freely knowing that it is not our choice if it is taken and we will be supportive of whatever choices are made. I think mothers are their kids safety nets. We raise our young knowing that our job is to help them develop into caring, responsible adults with the ability to weigh their choices and make the best decisions for them. When the kids discover that they have not made a good choice, Moms are (should) always be standing there not saying I told you so but holding out a hand to help our young re-group and help them once again move along through life. We let our young fail (and suffer the consequences) because we all learn by our mistakes.
So that being said, I have seen a change in you Dave. Yes, you have made some mistakes and you have suffered the consequences. But, you have also made HUGE changes so that you can move forward. You have also chosen to make a difference in your kids lives. As a mom, I am very proud of you. You are brave and smart (although you may not see that in yourself) and most of all you want to love. Your kids are very lucky.
So, while you may think that you don’t have much to say that is worth saying – Dave, I believe everything thing we choose to say is worth saying as long as it is intended to build not tear apart.
Dave, you aren’t perfect, none of us is. But one big lesson kids need to learn is to love themsleves. Teach your kids by example Dave, work hard to love yourself – if not love just yet, try like yourself. count your accomplishments not your failures. Look to a bright future knowing that you have learned from your mistakes. Forgive yourself when needed and move on, move forward.
I am smiling with you Dave.
Comment by Kathy U November 8, 2008 @ 6:01 pm