Tunnel Vision

I dont know a thing about kids, and most likely could be found standing with the rest of the guys watching (or not, depending) a capable woman wrangle 6 or more kids into an obedient order, but dont ask me to do it.

I might not know how to wash clothes, cook 3 healthy meals a day, or clean house.
I might not clean the oven (Ill be doing good if I clean the kitchen)
I might consider ketchup and juice fruits and vegetables.
The grill and I might not get along.
I might not know how to arrange hair, and appointments at the same time, or separate, for that matter.
I might not be able to keep soccer games and baseball games straight.
I might not remember to schedule dr appointments, dentist appointments, dinner, sign papers, that over due book, or movie, and still have kids in bed on time -all in one day.
Chances are Im still trying to remember where I left one kid, whos kids are with me, and what Im doing with them. Infact, I will be doing good if we all make it home…in one trip.
I might not be on time to every appointment, practice, or game.
I might not even remember, and yea, we will be the ones speeding in 10 minutes late, and sneaking down the row – but thats better then remembering the day after.
I might not show up to ever parent/teacher conference, and I might not look over report cards until a few weeks later.
I might not know whos tooth fell out, or whos pants are in the washer.
I might not be thinking 20 things at once, or 20 steps ahead.
I might forget a thing or two.
I might even not remember something.
I might sigh relief when the kids are in bed, and I might not get back up to clean after I sit down.
I might wake everyone up late, and put everyone to bed late.
There might not be a set “bed time”, and baths might not be remembered every night.
Teeth brushing most likely will be forgotten once or twice, and yea, you might see one kid with mis-matched socks.
I might even forget an item at the store, and I might not ever venture into certain isles.
I might have a hard time keeping laughter back, at all the wrong times.
Bad words most likely will slip like butter, and anger erupt like a volcano.
I might get mad a loud noises, and childish acts.
I cant balance 4 kids, a check book and dinner all at the same time, I only have two hand, and a small piece of a brain remaining.

But you can be sure this is all because I am busy. Busy doing things that I think I can do.

I can teach you how to make a paper airplane, and show you what you did wrong, and why yours wont fly.
I can show how to stuff the washer as full as you can get it, and how to sit on a suit case when it wont close.
I can teach you all about the oil in the car, and tell you the size of tires.
I can help you build a fort, two stories? How bout three.
I can change your bike tire, and grease your chain.
I can hold it steady while you climb on, and give you a little push, and I can watch as you wobble down the drive, and crash, and I can cheer you on, and watch you go. You can bet your bottom dollar that I will be at your game, even if it is late, and you will know Im there, because when the crowd grows quiet you’ll hear me yell your name, and some embarrassing statement.
I will, eventually remember that I left you somewhere, and where.
I can fix the toilet, and take that hairy spider out of the shower while you hide in the corner shaking.
I can hold him in my hand, and tell you his name is Fred, and that he wont hurt you.
I can carry you to bed when you fall asleep on the couch, or in the car.
I can assemble your bunk bed, and chase you around and around, and tickle you blue, and I can hear you scream and beg for more as you gasp for air.
I can try to teach you right from wrong, and try to steer you in the right direction, but chances are, you’ll make a lot of mistakes…
I can put the swing set together, and take the garbage to the dump.
I can lift that “Big box” and carry it for you.
I can build the dog a house, and even put a run up.

You wont go hungry (thanks to the neighbors) Youll make it to school (even if it is late) appointments will eventually be met (after a few trys) and eventually….You will grow up, and I will be left sitting in an empty house…wishing for it to all come back…so I can tickle you one last time, or yank your hair, or torture you a little more….but until then I will continue to rely on the neighbors help, just to ensure you make it to that day.

At the end of a day, I will sit down, and think it over. I will think of the things I did wrong, and the way I should have handled it. But come tomorrow, I wont change a thing.
I dont promise not to get angry, or yell. I cant promise I will always do whats right, or always show you how to live. I cant promise you that everyday will be the “Best day ever”. I wont ever tell you Im right, your wrong.

Ok, I will, but dont listen.

I cant tell you what tomorrow will bring, or if you will be happy. I dont know everything. Infact, I know very little. Dinner wont always be “on time” or even edible. Things (including you) will be late. Thats a given. A guarantee. But I do love you, and that, will never change.

I found this hidden in a pile of things I had written…nothing else was written with it, but it most likely was written after a bad day gone wrong, a few years ago, and while I find humor in it now, I most likely will be agreeing with it in a few months. As well as taking the “mights” out, and adding a few more things to the list.